Sunday, April 3, 2011

Today and Everyday

To:             YOU
Date:            TODAY
From:           GOD
Subject:       YOURSELF
Reference:   LIFE

This is God.  Today I will be handling All of your problems for you.  I do Not need your help.  So, have a nice day.
I love you.


P.S.
And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to re! solve i t yourself!  Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME.  All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.




 

 Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it.  Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.



If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
 



 

Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.




Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.



Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.



 

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.



 

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.



 

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.



 

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!



 

Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!
Now, you have a nice day.

                          God

 

God
has seen you struggling,
God
says it's over.
A blessing is coming your
way. If you believe in God, please send to ten people (including me) please don't ignore this.
You are
being tested.

Marriage Humour??

Wife:         'What are you doing?'  
Husband:
    Nothing.
Wife:
        'Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband:
    'I was looking for the expiry date.'  
-------------------------------

Wife
:       'Do you want dinner?'  
Husband:
     'Sure! What are my choices?'  
Wife:
        'Yes or no.'

_____________




Wife:
'You always carry my photo in your wallet... Why?'
Hubby:
'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'  
Wife:
 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby:
'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'  



--------------------------------------------------------
 



Stress Reliever Girl:
     'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'  
Boy:
     'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'  
Girl:
     'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'





Son:
     'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'  
Mom:
  'Well, you have done the right thing.'  
Son:
     'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'  
________________________________




A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'  
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'  






A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
 
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: '
I like your sense of humour!'


Husbands are husbands


A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied:  'Your Horse phoned
!!! '